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Men Undies: What's sexy and what's not.

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Sexy is a combination of two things: style and attitude. Sexiness is not so much about what pick-up line you use, but how you can hold a conversation. Sexiness is confident and decisive. Sexy is clean, in control and sometimes, just a little dangerous. Anything other than that is just not going to cut it. Today we’ve got three pieces that are sure to impress and three pieces that are sure to depress.

Not: The Half Hammock

The Half Hammock

Apparently the banana hammock (seen here) was a bit too conservative for some people, so this article of clothing had to be designed.

Speaking of design…can someone please tell me how this stays up? It genuinely seems like it would just slide down after a few steps, so the fact that it can be worn to any degree is surprising.

Some people would argue that this piece is daring and not afraid to take risks. To those people I say: Really? Trying to defend this is like trying to defend the drunk guy at the baseball game. No one cares why you’re doing it, it’s obnoxious and you’re just making everyone uncomfortable.

Sexy: PPU Fiesta Striped Boxer

The PPU Fiesta Striped Boxer Blue

Now, let me be clear: risky pieces are not bad pieces. In fact, here’s a piece that does risky right. This particular boxer style is a solid choice; a sexy cocktail that’s one part conventional, one part colorful, with just a splash of modern sleek.

Boxers are a respectable choice in their own right. What really makes this piece work is its dedication to standing out in the crowd. By not being afraid to use bold colors and having a slightly tighter fit, you end up with underwear that knows what it wants to be. This dedication to its principles while also having the courage to be original makes this a definite ‘Yes’ on the sexy list.

Not: Denim Boxers

Denim Boxers

“I have often said that I wish I had invented blue jeans: the most spectacular, the most practical, the most relaxed and nonchalant. They have expression, modesty, sex appeal, simplicity - all I hope for in my clothes.” -Yves Saint-Laurent.

A reliable, durable product with a ton of versatility, denim is a welcome addition to any wardrobe…except in this case. In this case, burn it. Burn it and never speak of it again.

Denim boxers are what happen when fashion designers run out of ideas. While some might think that this is ‘going commando’, it’s actually an intentional attempt at using denim as a comfortable, realistic piece of underwear. Highlighted by a lack of practicality and a certain sense of desperation, this is the exact opposite of sexy.

Sexy: Clever Cotton Mesh Boxer Brief

The Clever Cotton Mesh Boxer Brief Black Yellow

Moving on to bigger and better things, the Clever Cotton Mesh Boxer Brief is a celebration of everything that is right with the fashion industry.

Original in its functionality yet traditional in its purpose. A breathable, comfortable piece that still manages to look presentable and professional. The look is modern yet simple. A very subtle confidence that cannot and will not be questioned. Clever found a way to combine the athletic model for underwear with the professional look of high-end fashion.

Not: Brief Jerky

 Brief Jerky

Brief Jerky is not a joke. This is not something that someone just drew up on the internet and said “Wouldn’t it be crazy if someone made this?” No, someone actually made this. Two separate people actually. This guy and this guy. Because two separate people actually believed that this was something the world needed to see.

In a way, we should thank these men. After all, they’ve given us quite possibly the best example for how to not be sexy. If your underwear ever looks, feels or tastes like the Brief Jerky, you’ve done something horribly wrong.

Sexy: The Xtremen Classic Brief

 The Xtremen Classic Brief White

I figured we’d finish with something sexy because, frankly, I couldn’t bear the thought of you leaving this article with the Brief Jerky image in your mind. I purposefully left this piece for last believing it to be the embodiment of sexy. Notice that this piece is not particularly flashy or risky. In fact, it appears to be quite simple at first glance. That is actually where the beauty of this piece lies. Simple and clean lines, with the use of solid colors. A traditional brief, confident in its utility and proud of its tradition. These articles are sexy not because of what they hide. The real sexiness comes from what they show.

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